in case you were wondering...

I am a nameless,
faceless,
map of my family
covered in freckles
with a blue smear 
over one eye or the other
---I can never remember which.
All I know is what I 
care to remember
and all I remember is
what I care to know.
I've been labeled emotionally frustrating,
but I don't think that's fair
given the circumstances.
My hair and eyes are
always wild
and I can never remember
what day it is when I
wake up.
I only want to go to 
Chicago to pretend to be 
Ferris Bueller for a day.
Is this getting too personal?
I thought so,
but that won't keep me 
from continuing. 
I have no self-control
when it comes to men,
and I've never learned 
how to whistle.
I think it has something to do with
being bad at learning hands-on skills.
Also, I can only apply mascara
with my mouth slightly open.
Nothing else works.
In addition, I always
spray perfume behind
my neck, so people 
think I naturally smell 
like Bulgari pour femme
and Vaseline Cocoa Butter.
Falsifications. 
My breath smells like 
Miller High Life because 
I've had five beers and
have no recollection of
opening the first one.


Correction: Six beers.


Anyway, I've always
wanted to be a literary genius, have I told you
that? Probably not.


Drinking doesn't make me forget anything. I don't drink to

forget.


Drinking actually makes me remember ridiculously mediocre details about my past;


strange people I've kissed,
what I used to order on my pizza,
the last time I shaved my legs,
etc., etc., etc.




...this is all in case you were wondering.